I Dream of Reality: Part I

Lately, I’ve been having dreams that either mirror my past experiences or represent my deepest desires or demons.  This is unusual, because normally I have dreams of which I can discern no significance and meaning, or I have none at all.  These dreams are very important to me, and I cherish them greatly because in the humdrum of my everyday existence they are an escape, whether good or bad, whether sad or joyful, whether they make me cry or smile or a combination of both, they are an escape.

We are in class

The teacher is lecturing

Drivel

I refuse to listen

Side conversation

With a beautiful girl

She is quiet, insular, unassuming

She has a story

Everyone has a story

More to her than meets the eye

More to everyone than meets the eye

I can sense her

Apprehension, tension, stress,

I share these feelings

But they can not rule me anymore

Must free her from their grasp

So we can be joyous

Because I am not joyous alone

And neither is she

But together we will be consummate

Consummate as human beings

Suddenly she whispers something

An accusatory, negative tone

It unnerves me, it startles me, it frightens me

Because now there is no turning back

Why do you ask about me?

Why do you want to know about me?

Why are you so inquisitive?

Why do you want to be better friends?

Misconceptions, preconceptions, confusion, awe, disbelief

Was I wrong?

No I wasn’t wrong

I was too right

Guarded, unwilling,

Staring into the unwavering gaze of opportunity

Denied entry

By the same person I used to be

Now I am angry

There is no classroom anymore

No teacher, no students

The lecture stops

I don’t give a damn

This is life here, this is experience

Not the humdrum of a classroom

I cry out, I yell, I shout

What else is there?

What else do you want us to talk about?

What is there to talk about except ourselves and each other

our ideas, our lives, our dreams, our aspirations

When will we stop subjecting ourselves to this impoverishment

This disgusting environment

In which we blindly submit ourselves to authority

And lose our inner strength

Our ability to love

Our collective capacity to share and learn and grow from each other

Let go and respond

Do not have

BE

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I write to dialogue. So please, let's engage each other in some dialogue.

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